The Attitude of Gratitude

The lady next door passes down a plate of freshly baked cookies to the small child, the child shyly takes one look at the lady, then grabs a warm cookie from the plate.  The deliciously warm cookie immediately goes into the the child’s mouth.  The child’s mother squats down and asks, “is the cookie really good?” Chewing slowly the child nods in agreement.  “Well?” Asks mother. “What do we say?”  The child stops chewing and squirms a bit with shyness, then, looking up at the neighbour lady says (through the cookie crumbs), “fank ‘ou”.

I tell this story because I believe gratitude is not a natural inclination of the human condition, or at least not totally, I think it is like a muscle; it must be trained and exercised.  I think most of us started out learning gratitude just like the child with the cookie, it turns out that manners matter.  But why (you might be asking) is gratitude important?  Once realized, gratitude is very important; it comes with a host of emotional, physical, psychological and social benefits.  When the attitude of gratitude is exercised it becomes a spontaneous feeling-but without exercise and training the benefits and natural emotions wane.  Lets explore what gratitude is, how we exercise this important attribute, and what the benefits are.

Gratitude is the appreciation an un-earned favour, intentionally given, as near as I can discern.  G.K. Chesterton said “gratitude, being nearly the greatest of human duties, is also nearly the most difficult”.  Turns out it’s hard to be thankful.  Now if someone you like brings you a “cold one” on a hot day, being thankful is not too hard.  Being thankful when someone (you don’t like) fronts you money for rent, on a place you despise, it becomes a lot harder.  Thats not even the hardest gratitude response. How about being thankful for the opportunity of gain by your own labour, or thankful for your health.  It comes down to “who” are you thankful TO? Hmmmm, here there be God.  So, I think this is why we’ve become a people devoid of gratitude, a land with no grace or manners.

So is this gratitude important? What do I get from it?  Apparently a lot. Gratitude is completely linked to life satisfaction and mental well being.  The biggest foe that gratitude combats is the human ego, which is just a fancy way of saying human pride.  Pride is the king of sin, pride is the foundation of the fall.  But, pride melts like the wicked witch of the west, if the pail were filled with gratitude instead of plain water.  Once the “ego” is tamed, envy becomes easier to control, and hope becomes an attainable option.  With an increase of hope, anxiety about life decreases. Can you see a theme here? Were talking about a compounding spiral of goodness. Isn’t there enough downward spirals in life?  Shouldn’t one pay attention to an upward spiral?  Oh, and there is more.  Gratitude deflates materialism, increases forgiveness, and increases day to day empathy with our fellow man.  Gratitude focuses us on the important elements to life.

The problem with gratitude is the exercise element, use it or lose it.  Everybody hates exercise.  I think our modern (post modern to a few folks) life has become too easy.  An element of suffering plays a part in being grateful, here’s a story to bolster my point.

I was working in a forestry camp in my youth, way out in chopper country.  The entire camp was flown in.  It was our job to supervise tree planters at high elevation, it was cold, early May; and wet.  I had bought a cheap pair of boots just before going into the camp, both boots split up the side, two days into the job.  I would keep one pair of socks dry, in camp, for evenings around the fire.  All my other socks were  in various stages of soaked, decaying, and mildewing toward dryness.  Nothing, and I mean nothing; felt better than pulling on those dry socks and camp shoes at the end of the day.  That was over 25 years ago, and I still appreciate warm, dry socks.  The suffering, however, was crucial to the joy.

Here is the science as far as I know it.  Our brains were designed, hardwired as it were, to instantly recognize negativity.  No use in searching for the “positive” in an encounter with an angry grizzly.  But it takes the brain at least 20 seconds of focused recognition to feel gratitude.  Haven’t you ever found yourself in an enviable position on a holiday, swinging in a hammock or reeling in a fish, and realizing you should be feeling grateful?  How ‘bout some time to read or take a nap?  Fighting guilt a little? Learn to be thankful for all life’s blessings; exercise it.  Make a point to focus on gratefulness.  Learn to be grateful for the big wonderful things, move it down to a dry pair of socks or a mouthful of food.

I would be remiss if I did not go back to the faith aspect of gratitude, just who to be grateful to when your eating food you’ve totally worked for, right?  Saying grace before a meal?  At a restaurant thats going to bill you big time?  Yeah right.  But.  How ‘bout your ability to work, pay, chew, and digest?  Is this because your a great person? People have this funny attribute where, when we do something rotten, we fling blame around.  I was tired when I did that thing, stressed, sleep deprived, triggered, or hungry; “it’s not my fault” is the theme.  When we do something nice, or unselfish, we pat ourselves on the back. Ultimately gratitude leads us in the direction of believing in a greater good than ourselves.  It leads us to a faith in the transcendent; which is faith in God in my estimation.

Happiness is an outlier to gratitude, its written into the contract.  Gratitude is the recognition and appreciation of goodness.  God is goodness, and he will take all appreciation, even for a dry pair of socks; or a warm cookie.

-Anomic Ranger